______ ______  _____   ___   _____  _   _  _____ ______
       | ___ \| ___ \|  ___| / _ \ /  __ \| | | ||  ___||  _  \
       | |_/ /| |_/ /| |__  / /_\ \| /  \/| |_| || |__  | | | |
       | ___ \|    / |  __| |  _  || |    |  _  ||  __| | | | |
       | |_/ /| |\ \ | |___ | | | || \__/\| | | || |___ | |/ /
       \____/ \_| \_|\____/ \_| |_/ \____/\_| |_/\____/ |___/
       
       We are sorry to inform you, that 7.7 billion passwords
       of our customers have been stolen from our servers,
       but...
       
       The fucking NSA used that one vulnerability we were
       going to patch next Tuesday to force us to release this
       report. But we have since upskilled our cafeteria staff,
       so it will never happen again.
       
   DIR Another Excuse?